Actual News Headline

The mystery of how an animal has survived for 80 million years without sex has been solved by UK scientists

The mystery of how an animal has survived for 80 million years without sex has been solved by UK scientists

There could be some benefit to millions of years without sex after all—Dr Alan Tunnacliffe, University of Cambridge Clip from article: A Cambridge team says the creature owes its existence to a genetic quirk that offers some recompense for its prolonged celibacy. Many asexual organisms have died out because they cannot adapt to changes in(…)

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Texas cops mistake actual weed for marijuana, spend hours doing yard work

From The Raw Story: Like the old song goes, one of these things is not like the other… However, remind a police officer in Corpus Christi, Texas of those famed Cookie Monster lyrics and they’re likely to give you an annoyed look.That’s because a recently discovered cache of plants, initially pegged by officials speaking to(…)

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Russian fans told to ‘drink whisky’ when in Wales… What could possibly go wrong???

Russian fans told to ‘drink whisky’ when in Wales… What could possibly go wrong???

photo credit Russian fans told to ‘drink whisky’ when in Wales for World Cup qualifer. From article: Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whisky on their trip to Wales for next month’s World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country’s supporter association (VOB) said today.(…)

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Italy seizes $135B of US bonds from two Japanese nationals

Italy seizes $135B of US bonds from two Japanese nationals

From International Business Times: Two Japanese citizens carrying $134 billion worth of U.S. bonds were detained last week by Italy’s financial police at Chiasso (40km from Milan) on the border between Italy and Switzerland, an Italian daily said Wednesday. According to the report, they include 249 U.S. Treasury bonds each worth $500 million, plus 10(…)

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BREAKING news from CNN — “Experts: Malicious program targets Macs”

BREAKING news from CNN — “Experts: Malicious program targets Macs”

CNN are reporting, having exhausted coverage of anything else newsworthy in the world today, that: Mac computers are known for their near-immunity to the viruses and other harmful programs that plague PCs. But that may be changing somewhat, according to computer security researchers. It seems that as sleek Mac computers become more popular, they're also(…)

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Hoax nuke blast seen on TV weather

Hoax nuke blast seen on TV weather

  PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) — Members of a Czech art group who hacked into television broadcasting with images of a hoax nuclear explosion were charged and will have to stand trial, a state prosecutor said Thursday.art.nukeblast.jpg The six members of the Prague-based Ztohoven group were charged last month with spreading false information and face(…)

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Actual news headline — Guilty barmaid crushed cans with breasts

From article: A BARMAID has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, Westrern Australia police said today. Police said the 31-year old barmaid pleaded guilty in the local magistrate's court to twice exposing her breasts to patrons at(…)

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Great news! They’re stealing our books!

Great news! They’re stealing our books!

Clip: FRANKFURT (Reuters) – The Frankfurt Book Fair has an indicator to help publishers gauge public interest in the new offerings presented at the annual exhibition — the unofficial "most stolen book" index. Bild am Sonntag and Germany's ZDF television have come up with lists of titles most stolen from 15 leading German publishers' stands(…)

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Teacher Fired for Buttocks Art Sues

Teacher Fired for Buttocks Art Sues

Clip: A high school art teacher fired after officials learned he moonlighted by creating paintings using his bare buttocks and other body parts sued his former employers on Thursday. Stephen Murmer was fired in January after Chesterfield County Public Schools officials saw a YouTube video of Murmer wearing a swim thong and a Groucho Marx(…)

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Actual news headline : Mr. Potato Head in Australia ecstasy bust

Actual news headline : Mr. Potato Head in Australia ecstasy bust

Article: SYDNEY — Customs officals in Australia said Thursday that they had discovered a large amount of ecstasy inside a Mr. Potato Head children's toy mailed to Sydney from Ireland. Customs said the toy was intercepted in a parcel at Sydney's international mail centre after an alert official suspected there may be something sinister behind(…)

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Biker’s penis hit by lightning

Article:  AN Croatian motorbike rider was knocked unconscious when lightning struck his penis during a roadside toilet break. Metro.co.uk reported Ante Djindjic, 29, escaped relatively unscathed from the incident, suffering only light burns to his chest and arms. He said: "I don't remember what happened. One minute I was taking a leak and the next(…)

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Cleveland Police say truck full of cookies also contained $1,000,000 in Mexican pot.

Cleveland Police say truck full of cookies also contained $1,000,000 in Mexican pot.

One stop shopping: Another big cache of drugs off the streets…this time in a legitimate shipment of Chips Ahoy cookies! 634 pounds of marijuana were seized early Friday morning on Cleveland’s west-side. It represents the second $1,000,000 seizure of marijuana in as many weeks. This latest bust resulted from a three-month joint Cleveland Division of(…)

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Actual news headline : Woman at large with hubby’s severed penis

No sanuk here: A THAI woman is at large with her husband's penis today after discovering the man's unfaithfulness. Pornbun Sinthusin, 35, came home in Bangkok yesterday and found her 34-year-old husband Ploeng Plaekratoke in bed with another woman, said police Lieutenant Colonel Kornwat Hunpradit. She later gave him several beers before cutting off his(…)

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Actual news headline : Kangaroo Injured In Low-Speed Chase Through Alps

Actual news headline : Kangaroo Injured In Low-Speed Chase Through Alps

photo: mummajinx Skippi Eluded German Authorities For Almost A Month After Escaping Zoo BERLIN Skippi, a wily kangaroo on the run since early August was returned to his home at a petting zoo Monday in southern Germany, but not after a chase through the German Alps that left the animal with a strained leg. The(…)

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