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June 14, 2007

Question and answer time with Chuck Palahniuk

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Q: Can someone be a brilliant artist without being seriously fucked-up? Can someone be a brilliant artist and be completely sane and well-adjusted? Can the sane and good create art that is meaningful and not simply bland or pretty to look at? —Isaiah Technician

CP: Here's my theory: Anyone who makes a career in writing, music, painting, or whatnot succeeds as being a constant witness, always harvesting from the world. Any "artist" makes a living by expressing what others can't—because they're unaware of their feelings, they're too afraid to express those feelings, or they lack the skills to communicate and be understood. Being fucked-up isn't required. In fact, it tends to cut careers short.


Link
to AV Club article

June 22, 2007

Ye Olde Official Shakespearean Insult Kit

"Be not deaf cockered dismal dreaming clotpole!"

Link to generator

Post a secret anonymously on this blog

secret.jpg Anonymous postings of people's secrets, strangely absorbing. Link to postsecret.blogspot.com

June 27, 2007

Sorted Books project

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The Sorted Books project began in 1993 years ago and is ongoing. The project has taken place in many different places over the years, ranging form private homes to specialized public book collections. The process is the same in every case: culling through a collection of books, pulling particular titles, and eventually grouping the books into clusters so that the titles can be read in sequence, from top to bottom.

Link to photo collections

July 6, 2007

61 literary euphemisms for masturbation…

1. Blurbing yourself

2. Burying the lede

3. Challenging Alexander Pushkin to a one-handed duel

4. Coaxing Salinger to come out and play

5. Coming up with a gripping plot twist

6. Conjugating the verb

7. Cooking up a big oily batch of Victory Gin

8. Dangling your participles

9. Deconstructing
The Fountainhead

10. Dipping your madeleine into Proust's tea

11. Finishing the first draft by hand

12. Freelancing for the glossies

13. Getting just a little
too into pictures of Dorian Gray

14. Giving it a first pass

15. Giving the protagonist some internal conflict

16. Giving your narrative a Faustian theme

17. Having a strong opinion in your writing workshop about the power of symbolism

18. A Heartbreaking Wank of Staggering Spunkage

19. Hiding Rushdie from the Muslim assassins

20. Hunting for treasure in Injun Joe's cave

21. Interrogating JT LeRoy and his five accomplices

22. Jack Kerou-whacking

23. Joining the Beat Generation

24. Launching a ship to the holy city of Byzantium

25. Listening to Portnoy complain

26. Looking for clues with Tintin and Snowy



27. Mangling the English translation

28. Mixing your metaphors

29. Much A-Goo About Nothing

30. Oliver's Twist

31. Palahniukin'

32. Paying extra for the hardcover

33. Paying the bills with a hack novelization

34. Paying yourself in contributor copies

35. Picking the pull-quotes

36. Pinning Garp with a Half Nelson

37. Polishing Nick Hornby's head

38. Pottering your Chamber of Secrets

39. Print-on-demand

40. Proofreading the galleys

41. Putting out Polyphemus' one good eye

42. Putting the "wad" back into "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow"

43. Querying the editor

44. Rattling your stick inside a swill bucket

45. Reading poetry aloud

46. Recouping losses incurred by the Publishers Group West bankruptcy

47. Saying yes, yes, oh god yeeeeees to Ulysses

48. Shooting at Joan Burroughs with your flesh musket

49. Shooting your own author's photo

50. Signing the first edition

51. Skimming the Cliff Notes

52. Slapstick (or: “Lonesome No More”)

53. Spanking the Monkey (sometimes known as "Spanking Arthur Waley's translation of
Journey to the West ")

54. Splitting infinitives

55. Stocking the remainder table

56. Tap-tap-tapping at your chamber door (only this and nothing more)

57. The
other lonely impulse of delight



58. Touring Rosings with Mr. Collins

59. Transforming Gregor Samsa into a monstrous vermin

60. Using the passive voice

61. Varnishing your Booker Prize

Need some puppies and flowers?

Found at 'vonneguts asshole

July 7, 2007

English swearing keyboard — type any letter…

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Link to rathergood 

July 12, 2007

Caption Competition : What are these eyes saying?

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photo: Avi Abrams

Free iPhone for the winner — NOT

Sorry no prizes …but humor is its own reward eh?

'Go ahead punk', leave a comment…

July 13, 2007

Will the San Francisco Chronicle be the first newspaper to kill print in favor of its online sfgate.com?

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photo: in2jazz 

From article:

Why the San Francisco Chronicle is a candidate to exit print

Play with me on this one: Which major American newspaper should be the first to throw up its hands and stop publishing a print product?

It's a question worth asking. This could be the worst year for newspapers since the Great Depression. The double-digit revenue declines long forecast by doomsters have arrived. While nearly all the major papers still post profits, albeit smaller than before, a few prominent ones are losing boatloads. At Hearst Newspapers' San Francisco Chronicle, according to a deposition given by James M. Asher, the company's chief legal and business development officer, losses of $330 million piled up between mid-2000 and September, 2006, better—or should I say worse?—than $1 million a week. During negotiations with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's unions, the owning Block family disclosed that the paper lost $20 million in 2006. Late last year, The Boston Globe was headed for unprofitability as well, according to The Wall Street Journal.

Read more at BusinessWeek 

July 17, 2007

passive-aggressive : notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers

From an elevator:

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From a roomate: 

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Link to passive aggressive notes

July 18, 2007

'Practically everything I know about writing... I learned from music' — Haruki Murakami

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Photo: emilybean

From NY Time:

That's from his extraordinary essay which appeared on the final page of the July 8, 2007 New York Times Book Review.

More: "Whether in music or in fiction, the most basic thing is rhythm."

Here's the essay.

    Jazz Messenger

    I never had any intention of becoming a novelist — at least not until I turned 29. This is absolutely true.

    I read a lot from the time I was a little kid, and I got so deeply into the worlds of the novels I was reading that it would be a lie if I said I never felt like writing anything. But I never believed I had the talent to write fiction. In my teens I loved writers like Dostoyevsky, Kafka and Balzac, but I never imagined I could write anything that would measure up to the works they left us. And so, at an early age, I simply gave up any hope of writing fiction. I would continue to read books as a hobby, I decided, and look elsewhere for a way to make a living.

    The professional area I settled on was music. I worked hard, saved my money, borrowed a lot from friends and relatives, and shortly after leaving the university I opened a little jazz club in Tokyo. We served coffee in the daytime and drinks at night. We also served a few simple dishes. We had records playing constantly, and young musicians performing live jazz on weekends. I kept this up for seven years. Why? For one simple reason: It enabled me to listen to jazz from morning to night.

    I had my first encounter with jazz in 1964 when I was 15. Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers performed in Kobe in January that year, and I got a ticket for a birthday present. This was the first time I really listened to jazz, and it bowled me over. I was thunderstruck. The band was just great: Wayne Shorter on tenor sax, Freddie Hubbard on trumpet, Curtis Fuller on trombone and Art Blakey in the lead with his solid, imaginative drumming. I think it was one of the strongest units in jazz history. I had never heard such amazing music, and I was hooked.

    A year ago in Boston I had dinner with the Panamanian jazz pianist Danilo Pérez, and when I told him this story, he pulled out his cellphone and asked me, “Would you like to talk to Wayne, Haruki?” “Of course,” I said, practically at a loss for words. He called Wayne Shorter in Florida and handed me the phone. Basically what I said to him was that I had never heard such amazing music before or since. Life is so strange, you never know what’s going to happen. Here I was, 42 years later, writing novels, living in Boston and talking to Wayne Shorter on a cellphone. I never could have imagined it.

    When I turned 29, all of a sudden out of nowhere I got this feeling that I wanted to write a novel — that I could do it. I couldn’t write anything that measured up to Dostoyevsky or Balzac, of course, but I told myself it didn’t matter. I didn’t have to become a literary giant. Still, I had no idea how to go about writing a novel or what to write about. I had absolutely no experience, after all, and no ready-made style at my disposal. I didn’t know anyone who could teach me how to do it, or even friends I could talk with about literature. My only thought at that point was how wonderful it would be if I could write like playing an instrument.

    I had practiced the piano as a kid, and I could read enough music to pick out a simple melody, but I didn’t have the kind of technique it takes to become a professional musician. Inside my head, though, I did often feel as though something like my own music was swirling around in a rich, strong surge. I wondered if it might be possible for me to transfer that music into writing. That was how my style got started.

    Whether in music or in fiction, the most basic thing is rhythm. Your style needs to have good, natural, steady rhythm, or people won’t keep reading your work. I learned the importance of rhythm from music — and mainly from jazz. Next comes melody — which, in literature, means the appropriate arrangement of the words to match the rhythm. If the way the words fit the rhythm is smooth and beautiful, you can’t ask for anything more. Next is harmony — the internal mental sounds that support the words. Then comes the part I like best: free improvisation. Through some special channel, the story comes welling out freely from inside. All I have to do is get into the flow. Finally comes what may be the most important thing: that high you experience upon completing a work — upon ending your “performance” and feeling you have succeeded in reaching a place that is new and meaningful. And if all goes well, you get to share that sense of elevation with your readers (your audience). That is a marvelous culmination that can be achieved in no other way.

    Practically everything I know about writing, then, I learned from music. It may sound paradoxical to say so, but if I had not been so obsessed with music, I might not have become a novelist. Even now, almost 30 years later, I continue to learn a great deal about writing from good music. My style is as deeply influenced by Charlie Parker’s repeated freewheeling riffs, say, as by F. Scott Fitzgerald’s elegantly flowing prose. And I still take the quality of continual self-renewal in Miles Davis’s music as a literary model.

    One of my all-time favorite jazz pianists is Thelonious Monk. Once, when someone asked him how he managed to get a certain special sound out of the piano, Monk pointed to the keyboard and said: “It can’t be any new note. When you look at the keyboard, all the notes are there already. But if you mean a note enough, it will sound different. You got to pick the notes you really mean!”

    I often recall these words when I am writing, and I think to myself, “It’s true. There aren’t any new words. Our job is to give new meanings and special overtones to absolutely ordinary words.” I find the thought reassuring. It means that vast, unknown stretches still lie before us, fertile territories just waiting for us to cultivate them.

..................

This essay was translated by Jay Rubin.

The caption of the photo up top, which accompanied the Times essay, reads, "Haruki Murakami at his jazz bar, Peter Cat, in Sendagaya, Tokyo, 1978."

Haruki Murakami’s most recent book is a novel, "After Dark".

Special thanks to BookOfJoe for posting this

Breasts — Miss Cellania's link round-up

Hold on to them here 

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"Too sexy for my bus," woman told

A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy, a newspaper reported Monday.

"Suddenly he stopped the bus," the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. "He opened the door and shouted at me 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus.'"

Show me Miss Cellania's links

Jane Austen fan submits her work anonymously to publishers… and receives a dozen rejections

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 From Daily Mail article:

For when a budding author sent typed chapters of Jane Austen's novels to 18 of them, changing just the titles and characters' names, only one recognised her words.

Another managed to recognise they were 'a really original read'. But the rest simply rejected them or never responded, according to the man who posted the manuscripts, David Lassman.

"It was unbelievable," he said. "If the major publishers can't recognise great literature, who knows what might be slipping through the net?

Continue reading 

Via the folks at Neatorama 

July 30, 2007

Unfortunate acronym for a hostel…

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Photo: err r

July 31, 2007

Read Print online

This is pretty amazing, among the authors whose works are available here:

Link to readprint

August 1, 2007

Hilarious collection of hyphenated names…

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Lots more with pictures 

The history of branding — click on a brand to learn its history

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I think you'll find this site is interesting whether or not you work in the industry. 

Link via The Presurfer 

August 7, 2007

Leonard Cohen Live - Everybody Knows (with Spanish sub-titles)

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Love the Spanish sub-titles 

Link 

August 9, 2007

China frees 3 Canadian activists after Tibet protest

Very little coverage of this story in the US Media.

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Link to YouTube clip of a story CTV ran on the banner unfurling

From CBC article

Three Canadians arrested by Chinese police following a protest at the Great Wall against China's presence in Tibet have been released.

The British Columbian activists — Lhadon Tethong, Sam Price and Melanie Raoul — left China after their release on Wednesday and flew into Hong Kong.

Lhadon Tethong, the driving force behind this protest, has generated a lot of online buzz through the smart use of internet technologies, blogging, live video etc. 

See also:

Technology for Tibet Trumps Tyranny!

Tech-savvy pro-Tibet protesters get message across

From London to Lhasa Students for a Free Tibet UK blog their stories, thoughts, and actions.

August 13, 2007

"Don't piss me off! I am running out of places to hide the bodies."

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A man spotted wearing a T-shirt bearing an "offensive" slogan in a city centre has been warned he risks an £80 fine if he is caught again.

Forklift driver David Pratt was told by street wardens in Peterborough he could cause offence or incite violence.
 

"It's a bummer because I like the shirt but I am trying to get citizenship but if I get a fine I can kiss citizenship goodbye" —David Pratt
 

August 16, 2007

Author King 'mistaken for vandal'

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From BBC article:

Author Stephen King was mistaken for a vandal when he started signing books during an unannounced visit to a shop in Australia, according to local media.

The Australian Broadcasting Corporation said staff at the Alice Springs book store did not initially realise the writer was autographing his own novels.

Bookshop manager Bev Ellis said: "When you see someone writing in one of your books you get a bit toey [nervous].

"We immediately ran to the books and lo and behold, there was the signature."

Link 

August 17, 2007

After one year, the code atop of an Adobe® building is cracked

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Adobe, very clever (as usual) and witty to boot. 

From the SJMercury news:

The code is cracked.

And for anyone who thought a simple message was being transmitted by the rotating disks atop the Adobe tower in downtown San Jose, boy, were you wrong.

The message of San Jose Semaphore is the entire text of the Thomas Pynchon book, "The Crying of Lot 49."

The solution was discovered by two Silicon Valley tech workers, Bob Mayo and Mark Snesrud, who received a commendation at San Jose City Hall today.

Link

August 20, 2007

French Rugby World Cup 2007 survival guide

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Contains supposedly useful phrases, however "Who's your father referee?" (scroll down to #44) and "Scottish kiss" seem to be missing.
From book:

- 'Le coup d’envoi est à 15 heures' The kick-off is at 3pm

- 'Où en est le match?' What’s the score?

- 'On prend une bière?' How about a beer?

- 'C’est ma tournée' It’s my round

- 'J’ai la gueule de bois' I’ve got a hangover

- 'J’ai la tête qui tourne' I feel dizzy

- 'Au secours!' Help!

- 'L’arbitre' The referee

- 'Les joueurs' The players

- 'Un pilier' A prop

- 'Le talonneur' The hooker

- 'Le demi de mêlée' The scrum half

- 'Un ailier' A winger

 Link

August 21, 2007

Les' bizarre record

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He spent 15 years, from 1983 to 1998, typing out all of the numbers from one to one million (in letters not numerals), simply because he “wanted something to do.”

Link

August 22, 2007

Gone fishing till 8-27-07 — Precompression party

No, I'm not going to Burning Man but hooking up with some folks who are on their way. Precompression as opposed to decompression party. I'm bringing my fishing gear to Siskiyou County — in case things get too crazy... hahaha.

If you need a dose of puppies and flowers instantly, click here 

When I get back, I hope to 'design' the site properly and have a blogroll of friends and sites that I frequent, but until then, for your viewing pleasure, may I suggest these:

Hope to see you all next week, thanks for checking in…

August 31, 2007

The Great Iraq Swindle

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From Rolling Stone Magazine: 

How is it done? How do you screw the taxpayer for millions, get away with it and then ride off into the sunset with one middle finger extended, the other wrapped around a chilled martini? Ask Earnest O. Robbins -- he knows all about being a successful contractor in Iraq.

You start off as a well-connected bureaucrat: in this case, as an Air Force civil engineer, a post from which Robbins was responsible for overseeing 70,000 servicemen and contractors, with an annual budget of $8 billion. You serve with distinction for thirty-four years, becoming such a military all-star that the Air Force frequently sends you to the Hill to testify before Congress -- until one day in the summer of 2003, when you retire to take a job as an executive for Parsons, a private construction company looking to do work in Iraq.

Now you can finally move out of your dull government housing on Bolling Air Force Base and get your wife that dream home you've been promising her all these years. The place on Park Street in Dunn Loring, Virginia, looks pretty good -- four bedrooms, fireplace, garage, 2,900 square feet, a nice starter home in a high-end neighborhood full of spooks, think-tankers and ex-apparatchiks moved on to the nest-egg phase of their faceless careers. On October 20th, 2003, you close the deal for $775,000 and start living that private-sector good life.

Continue reading (links to video also)

September 24, 2007

Forbidden Words: What Employees Can and Cannot Say to Customers

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Found here 

September 25, 2007

Return Of Devil's Bible To Prague Draws Crowds

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From article:

PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) - September 24, 2007 - Codex Gigas, also known as the Devil's Bible - a medieval manuscript said to have been written 800 years ago with the devil's help - has returned to Prague after an absence of 359 years. 

And Czechs were eager to see it, officials said.


Found image
 

The priceless piece, considered the biggest medieval book, was taken from the Prague Castle by Swedish troops at the end of the Thirty Years' War in 1648. It is in Prague on loan from Sweden's Royal Library in Stockholm. It was put on display last week under high security at the Czech National Library.

Its return to Prague for the exhibition, which runs through Jan. 6, was made possible after years of negotiations between Czech and Swedish diplomats, National Library spokeswoman Katerina Novakova said.

"We expected big interest from the public," Novakova said. "Now, we are 100 percent full."

Only 60 people an hour can enter an air-conditioned room in the library's medieval complex for a 10-minutes look at the manuscript, which is inside a specially designed, unbreakable case, she said.

According to myth, a Benedictine monk promised to write the book overnight to atone for his sins. When he realized the task was impossible, he asked the devil for help. The page with the illustration of the devil is the one visitors see.

The manuscript was likely written by one monk from the Benedictine monastery in Podlazice located some 65 miles east of Prague sometime at the beginning of the 13th century, said Zdenek Uhlir, a specialist on medieval manuscripts at the National Library.

It contains "a sum of the Benedictine order's knowledge" of the time, including the Old and New Testament, "The War of the Jews" by the first-century historian Josephus Flavius, a list of saints, or a guideline how to determine the date of Easter, Uhlir said.

"I would estimate it took him between 10 and 12 years to write," he said about the piece, which weighs 165 pounds. Originally, it had 640 pages, of which 624 survived in relatively good condition, he said.

The book was transported to the Czech Republic in a military plane. Authorities would not give any details about security measures adopted at the library. It has previously been displayed in New York and Berlin.

Link 

September 27, 2007

Scohol zone

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uh-oh: 

Seminole County officials are scrambling to fix a typo on a roadway after a motorist informed Local 6 that the word "school" was misspelled "scohol."

Found here 

October 3, 2007

Some reactions to President Bush's veto of a bill expanding health insurance coverage for poor children

``It's very sad that the president has chosen to veto a bill that would provide health care for 10 million American children for the next five years. ... I don't think the president wants to say to the American people that he as the decider, the self-proclaimed decider, wants to decide what children get health care and which children do not.'' House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.

---

``The Republican Congress created SCHIP a decade ago to give millions of low-income, American children access to high-quality health care - not as a trial balloon for government-run health care or as a way to provide government benefits to adults and upper-income families who can afford private health insurance.'' - House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio.


``Never has it been clearer how detached President Bush is from the priorities of the American people. By vetoing a bipartisan bill to renew the successful Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP), President Bush is denying health care to millions of low-income kids in America.'' - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev.

Continue reading "Some reactions to President Bush's veto of a bill expanding health insurance coverage for poor children" »

October 12, 2007

Three kinds of service…

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BBC job refusal letter

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via newshelton 

October 15, 2007

Great news! They're stealing our books!

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Clip:

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - The Frankfurt Book Fair has an indicator to help publishers gauge public interest in the new offerings presented at the annual exhibition -- the unofficial "most stolen book" index.

Bild am Sonntag and Germany's ZDF television have come up with lists of titles most stolen from 15 leading German publishers' stands set up in the Frankfurt trade fair grounds.

"The most-stolen books are usually the most-sold later on," Claudia Hanssen of the Goldmann Verlag publishing house told Bild am Sonntag newspaper, which published a list of the 10 most stolen German-language books this year.

Continue reading

October 22, 2007

NASA withholds results of air safety study so as not to upset travellers — or affect airlines bottom line

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Clip from ABC News:

Anxious to avoid upsetting air travelers, NASA is withholding results from an unprecedented national survey of pilots that found safety problems like near collisions and runway interference occur far more frequently than the government previously recognized.

NASA gathered the information under an $8.5 million safety project, through telephone interviews with roughly 24,000 commercial and general aviation pilots over nearly four years. Since ending the interviews at the beginning of 2005 and shutting down the project completely more than one year ago, the space agency has refused to divulge the results publicly.

Just last week, NASA ordered the contractor that conducted the survey to purge all related data from its computers.

Link to article 

October 30, 2007

A thief has stolen a book titled "Steal this Book" from a modern art exhibition in Switzerland.

From Annanova:

The organisers of the Basel Shift Festival have decided not to report the theft to the police yet, and hope the thief will return the book.

The book with the words "Steal this Book" emblazoned across its cover had been placed in an incubator by artists from the Viennese artist's group Ubermorgen.

A spokesman for the artists said: "The central part of the work was a book with the title 'Steal this Book' as a way of representing in art an internet hacking operation that made entire books readable on amazon.com, instead of just single pages.

"It was an attempt to praise those that fought for the right for literary freedom, and not an invitation to steal the book."

The book was written by Abbie Hoffman in 1970 and published in 1971, and includes advice on growing marijuana, starting a pirate radio station, living in a commune, stealing food, shoplifting, stealing credit cards, making pipe bombs, and obtaining a free buffalo from the US Department of the Interior.

Many bookstores refused to carry the book, because so many patrons followed the advice of the book's title and stole it.

 

February 19, 2008

Restaurant sorry over F word bill

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From BBC:

A restaurant owner has apologised after diners had their very own F word experience - without Gordon Ramsay.

Ten friends found the abusive and sexually-explicit message on their bill at Joe Delucci's Italian restaurant in Bird Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire.

Link

February 24, 2008

1943 Guide to Hiring Women

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This is pretty ridiculous, but below is the transcript:

“Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.”

Found here

March 18, 2008

Arthur C Clarke, 90, RIP

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Legendary British science fiction writer Sir Arthur C Clarke has died in Sri Lanka at the age of 90.

He came to fame when his story, 2001: A Space Odyssey, was made into a film by director Stanley Kubrick in 1968.

Once called "the first dweller in the electronic cottage", his vision captured the popular imagination.

Sir Arthur, who was born in Minehead, Somerset, and was a radar specialist for the RAF in World War II, become a full-time writer in the 1940s.

Source

April 11, 2008

ABC3D — Excellent pop-up book of the alphabet

From the lenticular cover that changes with the angle of your hands, all the way to the Z, ABC3D is as much a work of art as it is a pop-up book. Each of the 26 dimensional letters move and change before your eyes. C turns into D with a snap. M stands at attention. X becomes Y with a flick of the wrist. And then there's U... Boldly conceived and brilliantly executed with a striking black, red, and white palette, this is a book that readers and art lovers of all ages will treasure for years to come.

MARION BATAILLE is graphic and book designer who has never before been published in this country. She lives in Paris. This is just a hand-made mock-up of the actual book which publishes in Oct. 2008.

April 28, 2008

To be or not to be, innit?

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A British satirist has translated 15 of Shakespeare's classic plays into chav speak.

Martin Bauam's updated version of Hamlet reveals: "Dere was somefing minging in de State of Denmark."

The Danish prince, who is re-named 'Amlet, asks: "To be or not to be, innit?", while Romeo pines for his "fit bitch Jools".

Mr Baum's other titles include Macbeff, Much Ado About Sod All, De 'Appy Bitches of Windsor, De Taming of de Bitch, Two Geezas Of Verona and All's Sweet That Ends Sweet, Innit.

Link

And then there was the:

Cabinet for girl who wanted 'Cab, innit?' 

A teenager reportedly ended up with a cabinet instead of a taxi because she asked directory inquiries for a "cab, innit".

According to The Sun, the Londoner, 19, wanted a taxi to take her to Bristol airport, and first used the Cockney rhyming slang "Joe Baxi".

When the operator told her she couldn't find anyone by that name, the teen replied: "It ain't a person, it's a cab, innit."

The operator then found the nearest cabinet shop, Displaysense, and put the girl through.

She then spoke to a bemused saleswoman and eventually demanded: "Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?"

The sales adviser said it would be £180 and the girl gave her address and paid with a credit card. The next morning, an office cabinet was delivered to her South London home.

The firm, of Bishop's Stretford, Hers, has now apologised and refunded her cash after the mix-up two weeks ago.

Marketing manager Steve Whittle said: "We thought it was a joke at first but the girl was absolutely livid. We have suggested that maybe she should speak a bit clearer on the phone."

Found here 

May 21, 2008

The Lost Land — Eavan Boland

I have two daughters.

They are all I ever wanted from the earth.

Or almost all.

I also wanted one piece of ground:

One city trapped by hills. One urban river.
An island in its element.

So I could say mine. My own.
And mean it.

Now they are grown up and far away
and memory itself
has become an emigrant,
wandering in a place
where love dissembles itself as landscape:

Where the hills
are the colour's of a child's eyes,
where my children are distances, horizons:

At night,
on the edge of sleep,
I can see the shore of Dublin Bay.
Its rocky sweep and its granite pier.

Is this, I say
how they must have seen it,
backing out on the mailboat at twilight,

shadows falling
on everything they had to leave?
And would love forever?
And then

I imagine myself
at the landward rail of that boat
searching for the last sight of a hand.

I see myself
on the underwold side of that water,
the darkness coming in fast, saying
all the names I know for a lost land:

Ireland. Absence. Daughter.

Eavan Boland 

May 27, 2008

Book sculptures by Nicholas Jones

Interview and more pictures  found on The Design Files

bookSculpture.jpg

Link 

June 3, 2008

Total Humor—150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever

Shamelessly lifted in its entirety from JobMob

From Resume Hell:

  1. “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
  2. “1990 - 1997: Stewardess - Royal Air Force”
  3. Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
  4. “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
  5. Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”
  6. “Job involved…counselling clientele on accidental insurance policies available”
  7. “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”
  8. “I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
  9. “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
  10. “Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with”
  11. “I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality…”

From Careerbuilder.ca’s 10 Wackiest Resume Blunders:

  1. Candidate included a letter from his mother.
  2. Candidate stated the ability to persuade people sexually using her words.
  3. Candidate wrote résumé as a play - Act 1, Act 2, etc.
  4. Candidate included naked picture of himself.

From Amy Joyce on Resume Bloopers:

  1. “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
  2. Woman who sent her résumé and cover letter without deleting someone else’s editing, including such comments as “I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here”

From Ask Annie’s article about resume blunders:

  1. “an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”
  2. Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
  3. “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
  4. Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
  5. Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
  6. A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
  7. Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”.
  8. Under “job related skills” - for a web designer - “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
  9. My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
  10. The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm.
  11. Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
  12. Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
  13. “I am great with the pubic.”
  14. A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
  15. The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.
  16. One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.
  17. “…sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of a cover letter to another firm…”
  18. “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
  19. One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn’t like dealing with blood or needles.
  20. Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
  21. I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion’s head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.
  22. a resume… was printed on the back of the person’s current employer’s letterhead.
  23. One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
  24. A resume… had several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it
  25. Hobbies: “Having a good time”

From Careerbuilder.com’s Top 12 Wackiest Resume Blunders:

  1. Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
  2. Candidate’s hobbies included sitting on the levee at night watching alligators.
  3. Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”
  4. Candidate included family medical history.

From Mainejobs.com’s Avoid These Resume Bloopers:

  1. “nine-page cover letter accompanied by a four-page résumé”
  2. “One applicant tried to make an impression by using four different fonts, three ink colors and a variety of highlighting options on her résumé”

From ResumePower.com’s Ten Classic Resume Bloopers:

  1. “Revolved customer problems and inquiries.”
  2. “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”
  3. “Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.”
  4. “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.”

From HotJobs’ Real-life Resume Blunders to Avoid:

  1. “I often use a laptap.”
  2. “Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.”
  3. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”

From Fortune Magazine via HumorMatters.com:

  1. “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
  2. “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
  3. “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
  4. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
  5. “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
  6. “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
  7. “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
  8. “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
  9. “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
  10. “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
  11. “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
  12. “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
  13. “I am loyal to my employer at all costs..Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
  14. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”

From Resumania’s Archive:

  1. Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.”
  2. Interests: “Gossiping.”
  3. Favorite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a repository of worthless knowledge.”
  4. Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”
  5. Employer: ” Myself; received pay raise for high sales.”
  6. Objective: “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.”
  7. Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992.”
  8. Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”
  9. Experience: “I’m a hard worker, etc.”
  10. Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”
  11. Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
  12. Additional skills: “I am a Notary Republic.”
  13. Objective: “So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ‘Jerry McGuire’ puts it, ‘Show me the money!’”
  14. Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”
  15. Objective: “To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.”
  16. Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”
  17. Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
  18. Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
  19. Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
  20. Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
  21. Skills: “Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years.”
  22. Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
  23. Education: “I possess a moderate educatin but willing to learn more.”
  24. Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
  25. Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
  26. Salary desired: “Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.”
  27. Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.”
  28. References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
  29. Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations - a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”
  30. Personal: “I limit important relationships to people who want to do what I want them to do.”
  31. Objective: “Student today. Vice president tomarrow.”
  32. Accomplishments: “Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.”
  33. Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
  34. Achievements: “First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982.”
  35. Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.”
  36. Special skills: “I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings.”
  37. Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”
  38. Experience: “Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed.”
  39. Objective: “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”
  40. Objective: “What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.”
  41. Hobbies: “Mushroom hunting.”
  42. Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.”
  43. Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can’t do that, I’ll settle on being an accountant.”
  44. Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
  45. Heading on stationery: “I’d Break Mom’s Heart to Work For You!”
  46. “I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.”
  47. Experience: “Provide Custer Service.”
  48. Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.”
  49. Strengths: “Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.”
  50. Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”
  51. Work experience: “Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees’ paychecks.”
  52. Educational background: “Highschool was a incredible experience.”
  53. Resume: “A great management team that has patents with its workers.”
  54. Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
  55. Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.”
  56. Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”
  57. Job duties: “Filing, billing, printing and coping.”
  58. Application: “Q: In what local areas do you prefer to work? A: Smoking.”
  59. Reason for leaving: “Terminated after saying, ‘It would be a blessing to be fired.’”
  60. Personal: “My family is willing to relocate. However not to New England (too cold) and not to Southern California (earthquakes). Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando’s proximity to Disney World.”
  61. Resume: “I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise (I wasn’t born - my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.”
  62. Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.”
  63. Qualifications: “I have extensive experience with foreign accents.”
  64. “I am fully aware of the king of attention this position requires.”
  65. References: “Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”
  66. “Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant.”
  67. Accomplishments: “My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had.”
  68. Career: “I have worked with restraints for the past two years.”
  69. Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
  70. Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”

JobMob Top 10

  1. Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.” (Resumania)
  2. A resume listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages” (Ask Annie’s)
  3. Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).” (Resumania)
  4. In the section that read “Emergency Contact Number” she wrote “911.” (Ask Annie’s)
  5. Candidate drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager’s gift. (Careerbuilder.com)
  6. Languages: “Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.” (Resumania)
  7. “Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.” (ResumePower.com)
  8. On one of our applications, a girl wrote ” I’m 16, I’m pregnant and I can do anything.” At the same time she turned in her application, her boyfriend handed in his. On his: “Felony for breaking and entering.” (Ask Annie’s)
  9. “One candidate included clipart on their resume of two cartoons shaking hands.” (Ask Annie’s)
  10. Application: “On the line that asked what “sex” he was, he wrote “occassionally”.” (Ask Annie’s)

This article is part of Litemind’s Lists Group Writing Project.

June 5, 2008

Clever VW Ad — Clio winner

June 10, 2008

Henry Miller recounts New York on video clip

Straight out of The Air-Conditioned Nightmare. Some of the associated links on YouTube are interesting too.

June 18, 2008

Six word stories and one sentence stories.

Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. Wired Magazine asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
- Eileen Gunn

Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
- Stan Lee

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
- Alan Moore

The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

Read full selection here.

One Sentence is about telling your story, briefly. Insignificant stories, everyday stories, or turning-point-in-your-life stories, boiled down to their bare essentials. Samples:

josh

I learned to believe a person when they say, "Trust me, thats flammable."

Sam W.

She realized I had lied about my "restaurant experience" when she saw her ceiling was dripping with balsamic vinaigrette.

musicjunkie

If I had known I was going to accidentally turn my head to face yours at just the right moment, I would have chosen a much more romantic setting than a Walgreen's parking lot.

Jake Justice

As I walked away, it started to rain, and I thought it was a beautiful end to the relationship.

Read more or upload your own here

June 27, 2008

Wordle — Word cloud generator, curiously addictive

loremIpsum.jpg

Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like. You can print them out, or save them to the Wordle gallery to share with your friends.

Create your own or just browse the latest user creations.

August 4, 2008

Molecules with Silly or Unusual Names

moronic.jpg
Shown here: Moronic Acid

Other names include:

Arsole

Yes, believe it or not, there is actually a molecule called Arsole... and it's a ring! It is the arsenic equivalent of pyrrole, and although it is rarely found in its pure form, it is occasionally seen as a sidegroup in the form of organic arsolyls. …

Bastardane

This is actually a close relative of adamantane, and its proper name is ethano-bridged noradamantane. …

Buckminster Fullerene

This is the famous soccerball-shaped molecule that won its discoverers the Nobel prize for Chemistry in 1996. It is named after the architect Buckminster Fuller who designed the geodesic dome exhibited at Expo '67 in Montreal, from which Sir Harry Kroto got the idea how 60 Carbon atoms could be arranged in a perfectly symmetrical fashion. …

Fukalite

This wonderfully named mineral gets its name from the Fuka mine in the Fuka region of southern Japan. It is very rare, and is a form of calcium silico-carbonate, with formula Ca4Si2O6(CO3)(OH,F) 2. …

Found here.

August 9, 2008

Qantas Airlines: Repair Division

In case you need a laugh:
Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.
 
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft..
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.  
 
Never let it be said that Aussie ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
 
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
 
 
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
 
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
 
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
 
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
 
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
 
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
 
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
 
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
 
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
 
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
 
P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
 
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
 
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
 
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Thanks Donna!

August 15, 2008

The 50 best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

"I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward" – Tom Stade

"Glasgow has its own version of Monopoly – just one big square that reads: Go To Jail" – Des Clarke

"I'm dating now, because I ran out of hooker money" – Rick Shapiro

"The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?" – Stephen Brown

"Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache and glasses, I think, 'There's a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him" – Carey Marx

"I don't hate the Germans, I just miss my grandparents" – Ian Stone 

"My uncle Cleetus is illiterate and ambidextrous. Which is a double tragedy. He is unable to write, with both hands" – Wilson Dixon

"I like David Beckham. Most of us have skeletons in our closet. But he takes his out in public" – Andrew Lawrence

"Victoria Beckham? Does this tampon make me look fat?" – Joan Rivers, on celebrities

"My boyfriend likes role play. He likes to pretend we're married. He waits until I go to bed, then he looks at porn and has a wank" – Joanna Neary

"I was talking to my friend from New York yesterday, and I used the expression, 'You can't polish a turd'. He looked at me, disgusted, and said, 'No, you can't, but you can roll it in glitter'. He's a lovely guy but I wouldn't want to go to a craft fair with him" – Steve Williams

"I used to go out with Christopher Reeve, but I just had to keep standing him up" – Steve Hall

"My granny was recently beaten to death by my granddad. Not as in, with a stick – he just died first" – Alex Horne

Read them all here.

August 18, 2008

Actual Chinese Hospital Sign

chineseHospitalSign.jpg

Thanks Noah

See also: 

Bizarre collection of bathroom signs

More funny bathroom signs

10 Most Unfortunate Store Names

August 25, 2008

Michael Gilette James Bond Book Covers

ianFlemingBond1.jpg

 

 

Link to Michael Gilette's website. Read about Ian Fleming

August 26, 2008

Haruki Murakami to speak at Cal Performances Oct 11, 2008

Link to Cal Performances website.

murakami1.jpg

Click here to see more Murakami book covers by John Gall and Chip Kidd.

August 27, 2008

"…by the power of our example, rather than the example of our power…"

—Bill Clinton, DNC Speech, Denver, Colorado. 8.27.08

September 18, 2008

In 1969, a 14-year-old Beatle fanatic…

named Jerry Levitan, armed with a reel-to-reel tape deck, snuck into John Lennon's hotel room in Toronto and convinced John to do an interview about peace. 38 years later, Jerry has produced a film about it. Using the original interview recording as the soundtrack, director Josh Raskin has woven a visual narrative which tenderly romances Lennon's every word in a cascading flood of multipronged animation. Raskin marries the terrifyingly genius pen work of James Braithwaite with masterful digital illustration by Alex Kurina, resulting in a spell-binding vessel for Lennon's boundless wit, and timeless message.

Thanks Eric B.

October 1, 2008

Don't judge a book by its movie — Ad campaign for the Brisbane Writers Festival

brisbaneWritersFestival1.jpg

 

Advertising Agency: Publicis Mojo, Brisbane, Australia

October 3, 2008

The Clash — Two classics, relevant as ever…

washingtonBullets.jpg

"Washington Bullets" —Video montage

"The Call Up" —Live footage.

October 6, 2008

Burning Bookmark

burningBookmark.jpg

Available at Perpetual Kid for $5.99 

via 

November 3, 2008

The 50 best pun named stores…

punStore1.jpg

 

See the rest here. Thanks Noah P.

November 5, 2008

Ralph Nader — YOU TIT!

Ralph Nader calls Obama an 'Uncle Tom'. Just found this and am still pissed off at Nader, watch at least the first 30 seconds.

November 10, 2008

Secret Service Codenames

I like that Ted Kennedy is 'Sunburn'!

Secret Service codenames are a throwback to the period before electronic transmissions were encrypted. Although they serve no practical security function today, the US Army Signal Corps still assigns codenames (mostly out of tradition).

John Anderson Miracle, Starburst, Stardust  
Keke Anderson Scarlet  
Howard Baker Snapshot  
James Baker Fencing Master, Foxtail  
Neil Baldrigger Forward Look  
Chassiah Begin Milo Crystal  
Menachem Begin Cedar  
Terrell Bell Foxcraft  
Joseph Biden Celtic  
Jill Jacobs Biden Capri  
John R. Block Fan Jet  
Zbigniew Brzezinski Hawkeye  
Barbara Bush Snowbank, Tranquility  
Doro Bush Tiller  
George H.W. Bush Sheepskin, Snowstorm, Timberwolf  
George W. Bush Tumbler  
Jeb Bush Tripper  
Jenna Bush Twinkle  
Laura Bush Tempo  
Marvin Bush Tuner  
Neil Bush Trapline  
Amy Carter Dynamo  
Chip Carter Diamond  
Jack Carter Derby  
Jeff Carter Deckhand  
Jimmy Carter Dasher, Deacon, Lock Master  
Rosalynn Carter Dancer, Steel Magnolia, Lotus Petal  
Sarah Carter Duchess  
James Earl Carter IV Digger  
Jason Carter Dusty  
J.A. Chaney Cannonball  
Prince Charles Daily, Principal, Unicorn  
Dick Cheney Backseat, Angler  
Bill Clinton Eagle  
Chelsea Clinton Energy  
Hillary Clinton Evergreen  
Phil Crane Swordfish  
James Edward Firetruck  
John Ehrlichman Wisdom  
Mamie Eisenhower Springtime  
Queen Elizabeth II Kittyhawk, Redfern  
Betty Ford Pinafore  
Gerald Ford Passkey  
Susan Ford Peso  
Al Gore Sawhorse, Sundance  
Alexander Haig Claw Hammer  
H. R. Haldeman Welcome  
Gary Hart Redwood  
Jesse Jackson Pontiac, Thunder  
Pope John Paul II Halo  
Lady Bird Johnson Victoria  
Lyndon B. Johnson Volunteer  
Ethel Kennedy Sundance  
Jackie Kennedy Lace  
John F. Kennedy Lancer  
Rose Kennedy Coppertone  
Ted Kennedy Sunburn  
John Kerry Minuteman  
Henry Kissinger Woodcutter  
Cindy Hensley McCain Parasol  
John McCain Phoenix  
Eugene McCarthy Instructor  
Scott McClellan Matrix  
Eleanor Mondale Calico  
Joan Mondale Cameo  
Theodore Mondale Centurion  
Walter Mondale Cavalier, Dragon  
William Mondale Chessman  
Ron Nessen Clam Chowder  
Richard M. Nixon Searchlight  
Pat Nixon Starlight  
Barack Obama Renegade  
Michelle Obama Renaissance  
Sarah Palin Denali  
Todd Palin Driller  
Jan Pierce Forefinger  
Dan Quayle Scorecard, Supervisor  
Marilyn Quayle Sunshine  
Doria Reagan Radiant  
Maureen Reagan Rhyme, Rosebud  
Michael Reagan Riddler  
Nancy Reagan Rainbow  
Patti Davis Ribbon  
Ronald Reagan Rawhide  
Ron Reagan Reliant  
Bebe Rebozo Christopher  
Nelson Rockefeller Sandstorm  
Frank Sinatra Napoleon  
William French Smith Flivver  
Strom Thurmond Footprint  
Rose Mary Woods Strawberry  
Ron Ziegler Whale Boat

Source

Want to know how to respond to a UFO crash? — See chapter 13 of the FEMA Firefighters Manual

ufoCrash.jpg

Video after the link. From Gizmodo:

This video shows how FEMA no only deals with credible threats as hurricanes and terrorist attacks, but also with credible threats like alien attacks and UFO crashes: They have an entire chapter dedicated to this topic in their firefighters manual. Great. As if it wasn't enough with the UK government revealing airplane encounters with UFOs and Hubble discovering unidentified objects in Space to fuel my absolutely cuckoo, sculpt-giant-mountains-out-of-mash-potatoes, I-hope aliens-are-two-meter-tall-buxom-blue-amazons, I-want-to-ride-a-warp-capable-spaceship fantasies.

From The Billboard Liberation Front...

wachoviaBurn1.jpg

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Intersection of Mission St.
and Cesear Chavez, NE corner
San Francisco

Dear Shareholders and Clients,

The Billboard Liberation Front has partnered with Wachovia to release a daring advertising campaign that celebrates Wachovia’s new money management strategy. This campaign emphasizes the silver lining in the economic storm front now threatening to swamp our economy as well as our individual fiscal inner tubes.

“The calamitous decline in the value of all investments and the impending total collapse of the dollar will render the true value of the average savings account or investment portfolio roughly equal to a bucket of warm piss," noted Thomas J. Wurtz, CFO of Wachovia. Dr. John Silvia, Managing Director and Chief Economist noted: “After that golden shower we got from Golden West, we decided to fight fire with fire and start bailing for our clients and stockholders, mixed metaphors notwithstanding.”

This dramatic revaluation of your money has created the opportunity for our team at Wachovia to offer a unique service to our stockholders and clients. “With what promises to be the coldest winter in years now commencing, we’ve instructed our staff in all 21 States that we have offices in to start bundling greenbacks into tight rolls, perfect for small stoves and furnaces,” said Robert K. Steel CEO and President. “We believe this is the soundest application of our clients’ money.”

Link

November 13, 2008

18258 Anagrams for 'Quantum of Solace' — Some sound like better titles…

Macaques Fun Tool
Macaque Fool Nuts
Factual Mosque No
Canal Mosque Tofu
Aqua Clef Moutons
Coma Equals Futon
Macs Loaf Unquote
Cams Unequal Foot
A Calfs Tuque Moon
A Qualm Scone Tofu
A Squat Column Foe

Link  via

November 20, 2008

Kvetch via Twitter — Kvetch.com

kvetch.jpg

"A Kvetch is a funny complaint. This site randomly displays kvetches sent via Twitter."

Link

December 15, 2008

Happy Birthday Scrabble.

It is 60 years ago tomorrow that Scrabble was registered as a trade mark by Alfred Mosher Butts, an architect from New York state, and his businessman friend James Brunot.

Scrabble AD by PES:


Link
to The Independent's article on the inventor and origins of Scrabble

 

January 16, 2009

The Pelican Project — Book covers from 1930 – 1980

Things Magazine have a great collection of Pelican Books' covers spanning the last century. Amazing stuff. These samples are from the 1960's.

pelicanOriginals1.jpg

 

 

 

 

January 20, 2009

Bush Street Renamed Obama Street in San Francisco

obamaStreetSF.jpg

From Scott Beale over at Laughing Squid:

Timed with today’s Inauguration, Bush Street signs in San Francisco were changed to Obama down the entire length of Bush Street from Presidio to Battery.

Link to "obamastreetsign" flickr set

February 2, 2009

"Typocraphic Spiderweb" Interactive art installation

Swiss artist and computer wiz Michael Flückiger combines installation, text art, and computer program design to create interactive text/projection works.


Typocraphic Spiderweb from Michael Flückiger on Vimeo.
Pandoras box from Michael Flückiger on Vimeo.

VIA

February 27, 2009

Hilarious email thread — Matthews' Party

From the folks over at 27bslash6.com an email thread regarding a new neighbor and a house-warming party.

The set-up:

A few weeks ago, a guy moved into the apartment across from me. I know little about him apart from the fact that he owns cane furniture as I saw the delivery guys carry it up. I bumped into him on the stairs once and he said hello but I cannot be friends with someone that owns cane furniture so I pretended I had a turtle to feed or something.

Last week when I checked my mailbox, I found that my new neighbour had left me a note stating that he was having a party and to let him know if the noise was too loud.

partyThread.jpg

The problem I have with the note is not that he was having a party and didn't invite me, it was that he selected a vibrant background of balloons, effectively stating that his party was going to be vibrant and possibly have balloons and that I couldn't come.

If I was writing a note to my neighbours saying that I was going to have a party but none of them could come, I would not add photos of ecstasy tablets, beer and gratuitous shots of Lucius going down on men to show them what they are missing out on, I would make it clean and simple, possibly even sombre, so they didn't think 'you prick'.

Then the emails begin:

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 11.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: R.S.V.P.

Dear Matthew,
Thankyou for the party invite. At first glance I thought it may be a child's party what with it being vibrant and having balloons but I realise you probably did your best with what little tools were available. I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time would you like me there?

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 3.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hi David
Sorry the note was just to let you know that we might be a bit loud that night. The house warming is really just for friends and family but you can drop past for a beer if you like.
Cheers Matthew



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 5.41pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Thanks Matthew,
Including me in your list of friends and family means a lot. You and I don't tend to have long discussions when we meet in the hallway and I plan to put a stop to that. Next time we bump into each other I intend to have a very long conversation with you and I am sure you are looking forward to that as much as I am. I have told my friend Ross that you are having a party and he is as excited as I am. Do you want us to bring anything or will everything be provided?

Regards, David.

Continue reading. Thanks Brady.

April 19, 2009

Billy Connolly : Banana Feet — Rare 1975 Documentary

I'm very happy that WeegieBurd posted this documentary on youtube. It's a brilliant slice of the 1970's in Ireland, both North and South. 

billyConnollyBananaFeet1.jpg

Billy Connolly was, in the 1970s, a sort of Scottish Lenny Bruce, who, with devastating humour, sliced through the hypocrisies he perceived.

This 1976 documentary follows the singer-comic during his 1975 Irish tour. Made in a cinema verité fashion, the performer appears to be completely unaware of the presence of the camera in his off-stage and backstage moments.

Links pop a new window:

Big Banana Feet Part 1

Big Banana Feet Part 2 

Big Banana Feet Part 3 

Big Banana Feet Part 4 

Big Banana Feet Part 5 

Big Banana Feet Part 6

Big Banana Feet Part 7 

Big Banana Feet Part 8 

About Words etc

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