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June 14, 2007

Question and answer time with Chuck Palahniuk

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Q: Can someone be a brilliant artist without being seriously fucked-up? Can someone be a brilliant artist and be completely sane and well-adjusted? Can the sane and good create art that is meaningful and not simply bland or pretty to look at? —Isaiah Technician

CP: Here's my theory: Anyone who makes a career in writing, music, painting, or whatnot succeeds as being a constant witness, always harvesting from the world. Any "artist" makes a living by expressing what others can't—because they're unaware of their feelings, they're too afraid to express those feelings, or they lack the skills to communicate and be understood. Being fucked-up isn't required. In fact, it tends to cut careers short.


Link
to AV Club article

June 22, 2007

Ye Olde Official Shakespearean Insult Kit

"Be not deaf cockered dismal dreaming clotpole!"

Link to generator

Post a secret anonymously on this blog

secret.jpg Anonymous postings of people's secrets, strangely absorbing. Link to postsecret.blogspot.com

June 27, 2007

Sorted Books project

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The Sorted Books project began in 1993 years ago and is ongoing. The project has taken place in many different places over the years, ranging form private homes to specialized public book collections. The process is the same in every case: culling through a collection of books, pulling particular titles, and eventually grouping the books into clusters so that the titles can be read in sequence, from top to bottom.

Link to photo collections

July 6, 2007

61 literary euphemisms for masturbation…

1. Blurbing yourself

2. Burying the lede

3. Challenging Alexander Pushkin to a one-handed duel

4. Coaxing Salinger to come out and play

5. Coming up with a gripping plot twist

6. Conjugating the verb

7. Cooking up a big oily batch of Victory Gin

8. Dangling your participles

9. Deconstructing
The Fountainhead

10. Dipping your madeleine into Proust's tea

11. Finishing the first draft by hand

12. Freelancing for the glossies

13. Getting just a little
too into pictures of Dorian Gray

14. Giving it a first pass

15. Giving the protagonist some internal conflict

16. Giving your narrative a Faustian theme

17. Having a strong opinion in your writing workshop about the power of symbolism

18. A Heartbreaking Wank of Staggering Spunkage

19. Hiding Rushdie from the Muslim assassins

20. Hunting for treasure in Injun Joe's cave

21. Interrogating JT LeRoy and his five accomplices

22. Jack Kerou-whacking

23. Joining the Beat Generation

24. Launching a ship to the holy city of Byzantium

25. Listening to Portnoy complain

26. Looking for clues with Tintin and Snowy



27. Mangling the English translation

28. Mixing your metaphors

29. Much A-Goo About Nothing

30. Oliver's Twist

31. Palahniukin'

32. Paying extra for the hardcover

33. Paying the bills with a hack novelization

34. Paying yourself in contributor copies

35. Picking the pull-quotes

36. Pinning Garp with a Half Nelson

37. Polishing Nick Hornby's head

38. Pottering your Chamber of Secrets

39. Print-on-demand

40. Proofreading the galleys

41. Putting out Polyphemus' one good eye

42. Putting the "wad" back into "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow"

43. Querying the editor

44. Rattling your stick inside a swill bucket

45. Reading poetry aloud

46. Recouping losses incurred by the Publishers Group West bankruptcy

47. Saying yes, yes, oh god yeeeeees to Ulysses

48. Shooting at Joan Burroughs with your flesh musket

49. Shooting your own author's photo

50. Signing the first edition

51. Skimming the Cliff Notes

52. Slapstick (or: “Lonesome No More”)

53. Spanking the Monkey (sometimes known as "Spanking Arthur Waley's translation of
Journey to the West ")

54. Splitting infinitives

55. Stocking the remainder table

56. Tap-tap-tapping at your chamber door (only this and nothing more)

57. The
other lonely impulse of delight



58. Touring Rosings with Mr. Collins

59. Transforming Gregor Samsa into a monstrous vermin

60. Using the passive voice

61. Varnishing your Booker Prize

Need some puppies and flowers?

Found at 'vonneguts asshole

July 7, 2007

English swearing keyboard — type any letter…

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Link to rathergood 

July 12, 2007

Caption Competition : What are these eyes saying?

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photo: Avi Abrams

Free iPhone for the winner — NOT

Sorry no prizes …but humor is its own reward eh?

'Go ahead punk', leave a comment…

July 13, 2007

Will the San Francisco Chronicle be the first newspaper to kill print in favor of its online sfgate.com?

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photo: in2jazz 

From article:

Why the San Francisco Chronicle is a candidate to exit print

Play with me on this one: Which major American newspaper should be the first to throw up its hands and stop publishing a print product?

It's a question worth asking. This could be the worst year for newspapers since the Great Depression. The double-digit revenue declines long forecast by doomsters have arrived. While nearly all the major papers still post profits, albeit smaller than before, a few prominent ones are losing boatloads. At Hearst Newspapers' San Francisco Chronicle, according to a deposition given by James M. Asher, the company's chief legal and business development officer, losses of $330 million piled up between mid-2000 and September, 2006, better—or should I say worse?—than $1 million a week. During negotiations with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's unions, the owning Block family disclosed that the paper lost $20 million in 2006. Late last year, The Boston Globe was headed for unprofitability as well, according to The Wall Street Journal.

Read more at BusinessWeek 

July 17, 2007

passive-aggressive : notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers

From an elevator:

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From a roomate: 

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Link to passive aggressive notes

July 18, 2007

'Practically everything I know about writing... I learned from music' — Haruki Murakami

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Photo: emilybean

From NY Time:

That's from his extraordinary essay which appeared on the final page of the July 8, 2007 New York Times Book Review.

More: "Whether in music or in fiction, the most basic thing is rhythm."

Here's the essay.

    Jazz Messenger

    I never had any intention of becoming a novelist — at least not until I turned 29. This is absolutely true.

    I read a lot from the time I was a little kid, and I got so deeply into the worlds of the novels I was reading that it would be a lie if I said I never felt like writing anything. But I never believed I had the talent to write fiction. In my teens I loved writers like Dostoyevsky, Kafka and Balzac, but I never imagined I could write anything that would measure up to the works they left us. And so, at an early age, I simply gave up any hope of writing fiction. I would continue to read books as a hobby, I decided, and look elsewhere for a way to make a living.

    The professional area I settled on was music. I worked hard, saved my money, borrowed a lot from friends and relatives, and shortly after leaving the university I opened a little jazz club in Tokyo. We served coffee in the daytime and drinks at night. We also served a few simple dishes. We had records playing constantly, and young musicians performing live jazz on weekends. I kept this up for seven years. Why? For one simple reason: It enabled me to listen to jazz from morning to night.

    I had my first encounter with jazz in 1964 when I was 15. Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers performed in Kobe in January that year, and I got a ticket for a birthday present. This was the first time I really listened to jazz, and it bowled me over. I was thunderstruck. The band was just great: Wayne Shorter on tenor sax, Freddie Hubbard on trumpet, Curtis Fuller on trombone and Art Blakey in the lead with his solid, imaginative drumming. I think it was one of the strongest units in jazz history. I had never heard such amazing music, and I was hooked.

    A year ago in Boston I had dinner with the Panamanian jazz pianist Danilo Pérez, and when I told him this story, he pulled out his cellphone and asked me, “Would you like to talk to Wayne, Haruki?” “Of course,” I said, practically at a loss for words. He called Wayne Shorter in Florida and handed me the phone. Basically what I said to him was that I had never heard such amazing music before or since. Life is so strange, you never know what’s going to happen. Here I was, 42 years later, writing novels, living in Boston and talking to Wayne Shorter on a cellphone. I never could have imagined it.

    When I turned 29, all of a sudden out of nowhere I got this feeling that I wanted to write a novel — that I could do it. I couldn’t write anything that measured up to Dostoyevsky or Balzac, of course, but I told myself it didn’t matter. I didn’t have to become a literary giant. Still, I had no idea how to go about writing a novel or what to write about. I had absolutely no experience, after all, and no ready-made style at my disposal. I didn’t know anyone who could teach me how to do it, or even friends I could talk with about literature. My only thought at that point was how wonderful it would be if I could write like playing an instrument.

    I had practiced the piano as a kid, and I could read enough music to pick out a simple melody, but I didn’t have the kind of technique it takes to become a professional musician. Inside my head, though, I did often feel as though something like my own music was swirling around in a rich, strong surge. I wondered if it might be possible for me to transfer that music into writing. That was how my style got started.

    Whether in music or in fiction, the most basic thing is rhythm. Your style needs to have good, natural, steady rhythm, or people won’t keep reading your work. I learned the importance of rhythm from music — and mainly from jazz. Next comes melody — which, in literature, means the appropriate arrangement of the words to match the rhythm. If the way the words fit the rhythm is smooth and beautiful, you can’t ask for anything more. Next is harmony — the internal mental sounds that support the words. Then comes the part I like best: free improvisation. Through some special channel, the story comes welling out freely from inside. All I have to do is get into the flow. Finally comes what may be the most important thing: that high you experience upon completing a work — upon ending your “performance” and feeling you have succeeded in reaching a place that is new and meaningful. And if all goes well, you get to share that sense of elevation with your readers (your audience). That is a marvelous culmination that can be achieved in no other way.

    Practically everything I know about writing, then, I learned from music. It may sound paradoxical to say so, but if I had not been so obsessed with music, I might not have become a novelist. Even now, almost 30 years later, I continue to learn a great deal about writing from good music. My style is as deeply influenced by Charlie Parker’s repeated freewheeling riffs, say, as by F. Scott Fitzgerald’s elegantly flowing prose. And I still take the quality of continual self-renewal in Miles Davis’s music as a literary model.

    One of my all-time favorite jazz pianists is Thelonious Monk. Once, when someone asked him how he managed to get a certain special sound out of the piano, Monk pointed to the keyboard and said: “It can’t be any new note. When you look at the keyboard, all the notes are there already. But if you mean a note enough, it will sound different. You got to pick the notes you really mean!”

    I often recall these words when I am writing, and I think to myself, “It’s true. There aren’t any new words. Our job is to give new meanings and special overtones to absolutely ordinary words.” I find the thought reassuring. It means that vast, unknown stretches still lie before us, fertile territories just waiting for us to cultivate them.

..................

This essay was translated by Jay Rubin.

The caption of the photo up top, which accompanied the Times essay, reads, "Haruki Murakami at his jazz bar, Peter Cat, in Sendagaya, Tokyo, 1978."

Haruki Murakami’s most recent book is a novel, "After Dark".

Special thanks to BookOfJoe for posting this

Breasts — Miss Cellania's link round-up

Hold on to them here 

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"Too sexy for my bus," woman told

A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy, a newspaper reported Monday.

"Suddenly he stopped the bus," the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. "He opened the door and shouted at me 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus.'"

Show me Miss Cellania's links

Jane Austen fan submits her work anonymously to publishers… and receives a dozen rejections

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 From Daily Mail article:

For when a budding author sent typed chapters of Jane Austen's novels to 18 of them, changing just the titles and characters' names, only one recognised her words.

Another managed to recognise they were 'a really original read'. But the rest simply rejected them or never responded, according to the man who posted the manuscripts, David Lassman.

"It was unbelievable," he said. "If the major publishers can't recognise great literature, who knows what might be slipping through the net?

Continue reading 

Via the folks at Neatorama 

July 30, 2007

Unfortunate acronym for a hostel…

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Photo: err r

July 31, 2007

Read Print online

This is pretty amazing, among the authors whose works are available here:

Link to readprint

August 1, 2007

Hilarious collection of hyphenated names…

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Lots more with pictures 

The history of branding — click on a brand to learn its history

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I think you'll find this site is interesting whether or not you work in the industry. 

Link via The Presurfer 

August 7, 2007

Leonard Cohen Live - Everybody Knows (with Spanish sub-titles)

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Love the Spanish sub-titles 

Link 

August 9, 2007

China frees 3 Canadian activists after Tibet protest

Very little coverage of this story in the US Media.

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Link to YouTube clip of a story CTV ran on the banner unfurling

From CBC article

Three Canadians arrested by Chinese police following a protest at the Great Wall against China's presence in Tibet have been released.

The British Columbian activists — Lhadon Tethong, Sam Price and Melanie Raoul — left China after their release on Wednesday and flew into Hong Kong.

Lhadon Tethong, the driving force behind this protest, has generated a lot of online buzz through the smart use of internet technologies, blogging, live video etc. 

See also:

Technology for Tibet Trumps Tyranny!

Tech-savvy pro-Tibet protesters get message across

From London to Lhasa Students for a Free Tibet UK blog their stories, thoughts, and actions.

August 13, 2007

"Don't piss me off! I am running out of places to hide the bodies."

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A man spotted wearing a T-shirt bearing an "offensive" slogan in a city centre has been warned he risks an £80 fine if he is caught again.

Forklift driver David Pratt was told by street wardens in Peterborough he could cause offence or incite violence.
 

"It's a bummer because I like the shirt but I am trying to get citizenship but if I get a fine I can kiss citizenship goodbye" —David Pratt
 

August 16, 2007

Author King 'mistaken for vandal'

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From BBC article:

Author Stephen King was mistaken for a vandal when he started signing books during an unannounced visit to a shop in Australia, according to local media.

The Australian Broadcasting Corporation said staff at the Alice Springs book store did not initially realise the writer was autographing his own novels.

Bookshop manager Bev Ellis said: "When you see someone writing in one of your books you get a bit toey [nervous].

"We immediately ran to the books and lo and behold, there was the signature."

Link 

August 17, 2007

After one year, the code atop of an Adobe® building is cracked

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Adobe, very clever (as usual) and witty to boot. 

From the SJMercury news:

The code is cracked.

And for anyone who thought a simple message was being transmitted by the rotating disks atop the Adobe tower in downtown San Jose, boy, were you wrong.

The message of San Jose Semaphore is the entire text of the Thomas Pynchon book, "The Crying of Lot 49."

The solution was discovered by two Silicon Valley tech workers, Bob Mayo and Mark Snesrud, who received a commendation at San Jose City Hall today.

Link

August 20, 2007

French Rugby World Cup 2007 survival guide

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Contains supposedly useful phrases, however "Who's your father referee?" (scroll down to #44) and "Scottish kiss" seem to be missing.
From book:

- 'Le coup d’envoi est à 15 heures' The kick-off is at 3pm

- 'Où en est le match?' What’s the score?

- 'On prend une bière?' How about a beer?

- 'C’est ma tournée' It’s my round

- 'J’ai la gueule de bois' I’ve got a hangover

- 'J’ai la tête qui tourne' I feel dizzy

- 'Au secours!' Help!

- 'L’arbitre' The referee

- 'Les joueurs' The players

- 'Un pilier' A prop

- 'Le talonneur' The hooker

- 'Le demi de mêlée' The scrum half

- 'Un ailier' A winger

 Link

August 21, 2007

Les' bizarre record

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He spent 15 years, from 1983 to 1998, typing out all of the numbers from one to one million (in letters not numerals), simply because he “wanted something to do.”

Link

August 22, 2007

Gone fishing till 8-27-07 — Precompression party

No, I'm not going to Burning Man but hooking up with some folks who are on their way. Precompression as opposed to decompression party. I'm bringing my fishing gear to Siskiyou County — in case things get too crazy... hahaha.

If you need a dose of puppies and flowers instantly, click here 

When I get back, I hope to 'design' the site properly and have a blogroll of friends and sites that I frequent, but until then, for your viewing pleasure, may I suggest these:

Hope to see you all next week, thanks for checking in…

August 31, 2007

The Great Iraq Swindle

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From Rolling Stone Magazine: 

How is it done? How do you screw the taxpayer for millions, get away with it and then ride off into the sunset with one middle finger extended, the other wrapped around a chilled martini? Ask Earnest O. Robbins -- he knows all about being a successful contractor in Iraq.

You start off as a well-connected bureaucrat: in this case, as an Air Force civil engineer, a post from which Robbins was responsible for overseeing 70,000 servicemen and contractors, with an annual budget of $8 billion. You serve with distinction for thirty-four years, becoming such a military all-star that the Air Force frequently sends you to the Hill to testify before Congress -- until one day in the summer of 2003, when you retire to take a job as an executive for Parsons, a private construction company looking to do work in Iraq.

Now you can finally move out of your dull government housing on Bolling Air Force Base and get your wife that dream home you've been promising her all these years. The place on Park Street in Dunn Loring, Virginia, looks pretty good -- four bedrooms, fireplace, garage, 2,900 square feet, a nice starter home in a high-end neighborhood full of spooks, think-tankers and ex-apparatchiks moved on to the nest-egg phase of their faceless careers. On October 20th, 2003, you close the deal for $775,000 and start living that private-sector good life.

Continue reading (links to video also)

September 24, 2007

Forbidden Words: What Employees Can and Cannot Say to Customers

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Found here 

September 25, 2007

Return Of Devil's Bible To Prague Draws Crowds

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From article:

PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) - September 24, 2007 - Codex Gigas, also known as the Devil's Bible - a medieval manuscript said to have been written 800 years ago with the devil's help - has returned to Prague after an absence of 359 years. 

And Czechs were eager to see it, officials said.


Found image
 

The priceless piece, considered the biggest medieval book, was taken from the Prague Castle by Swedish troops at the end of the Thirty Years' War in 1648. It is in Prague on loan from Sweden's Royal Library in Stockholm. It was put on display last week under high security at the Czech National Library.

Its return to Prague for the exhibition, which runs through Jan. 6, was made possible after years of negotiations between Czech and Swedish diplomats, National Library spokeswoman Katerina Novakova said.

"We expected big interest from the public," Novakova said. "Now, we are 100 percent full."

Only 60 people an hour can enter an air-conditioned room in the library's medieval complex for a 10-minutes look at the manuscript, which is inside a specially designed, unbreakable case, she said.

According to myth, a Benedictine monk promised to write the book overnight to atone for his sins. When he realized the task was impossible, he asked the devil for help. The page with the illustration of the devil is the one visitors see.

The manuscript was likely written by one monk from the Benedictine monastery in Podlazice located some 65 miles east of Prague sometime at the beginning of the 13th century, said Zdenek Uhlir, a specialist on medieval manuscripts at the National Library.

It contains "a sum of the Benedictine order's knowledge" of the time, including the Old and New Testament, "The War of the Jews" by the first-century historian Josephus Flavius, a list of saints, or a guideline how to determine the date of Easter, Uhlir said.

"I would estimate it took him between 10 and 12 years to write," he said about the piece, which weighs 165 pounds. Originally, it had 640 pages, of which 624 survived in relatively good condition, he said.

The book was transported to the Czech Republic in a military plane. Authorities would not give any details about security measures adopted at the library. It has previously been displayed in New York and Berlin.

Link 

September 27, 2007

Scohol zone

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uh-oh: 

Seminole County officials are scrambling to fix a typo on a roadway after a motorist informed Local 6 that the word "school" was misspelled "scohol."

Found here 

October 3, 2007

Some reactions to President Bush's veto of a bill expanding health insurance coverage for poor children

``It's very sad that the president has chosen to veto a bill that would provide health care for 10 million American children for the next five years. ... I don't think the president wants to say to the American people that he as the decider, the self-proclaimed decider, wants to decide what children get health care and which children do not.'' House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.

---

``The Republican Congress created SCHIP a decade ago to give millions of low-income, American children access to high-quality health care - not as a trial balloon for government-run health care or as a way to provide government benefits to adults and upper-income families who can afford private health insurance.'' - House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio.


``Never has it been clearer how detached President Bush is from the priorities of the American people. By vetoing a bipartisan bill to renew the successful Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP), President Bush is denying health care to millions of low-income kids in America.'' - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev.

Continue reading "Some reactions to President Bush's veto of a bill expanding health insurance coverage for poor children" »

October 12, 2007

Three kinds of service…

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BBC job refusal letter

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via newshelton 

October 15, 2007

Great news! They're stealing our books!

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Clip:

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - The Frankfurt Book Fair has an indicator to help publishers gauge public interest in the new offerings presented at the annual exhibition -- the unofficial "most stolen book" index.

Bild am Sonntag and Germany's ZDF television have come up with lists of titles most stolen from 15 leading German publishers' stands set up in the Frankfurt trade fair grounds.

"The most-stolen books are usually the most-sold later on," Claudia Hanssen of the Goldmann Verlag publishing house told Bild am Sonntag newspaper, which published a list of the 10 most stolen German-language books this year.

Continue reading

October 22, 2007

NASA withholds results of air safety study so as not to upset travellers — or affect airlines bottom line

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Clip from ABC News:

Anxious to avoid upsetting air travelers, NASA is withholding results from an unprecedented national survey of pilots that found safety problems like near collisions and runway interference occur far more frequently than the government previously recognized.

NASA gathered the information under an $8.5 million safety project, through telephone interviews with roughly 24,000 commercial and general aviation pilots over nearly four years. Since ending the interviews at the beginning of 2005 and shutting down the project completely more than one year ago, the space agency ha